If you are new here- welcome! And here is my annual tale of Christmas Eve lutefisk style.

When growing up for every year of my adult waking life that meant one thing…

….lutefisk.

Up until around 10 years ago.

More on why that is important coming up, but first some background for the lutefisk naïve.

It is pronounced as LOOT –A – FISK.

If you are in Minnesota like I am, make sure you do the OO sound really long.

LOOOOOOOOOT –A – FISK.

If you do not know what it is, consider yourself blessed.

Yes, it sounds like you are going to steal a fish.

Don't worry, I am sure lutefisk is safe as I am not sure who wants to pay for it, much less steal it.

For the uninitiated, Lutefisk is a white fish that is soaked in lye and served to unsuspecting new members of the family (just ask my wife) each year on Christmas Eve in the name of an ancient Swedish tradition...
...despite us having acquired devices called refrigerators several decades ago.

From the ever accurate Wiki:

“Lutefisk is dried whitefish (normally cod, but ling and burbot is also used) treated with lye. The first step is soaking the stockfish in cold water for five to six days (with the water changed daily).

The saturated stockfish is then soaked in an unchanged solution of cold water and lye for an additional two days.The fish swells during this soaking, and its protein content decreases by more than 50 percent, producing a jelly-like consistency.

When this treatment is finished, the fish (saturated with lye) is caustic, with a pH of 11–12. To make the fish edible, a final treatment of yet another four to six days of soaking in cold water (also changed daily) is needed.
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Eventually, the lutefisk is ready to be cooked.”
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​Wiki is not super accurate for everything, especially when they refer to it as edible.

The short version is it’s a normally quite wonderful fish until it is soaked in lye.

Yes, lye.

You know, that very caustic substance that has been investigated to dissolve human remains in a process called “alkaline hydrolysis.”

(Albeit you need also need 300-degree heat and 60 pounds of pressure per square inch to destroy bodies (1).)

Do not google that; trust me.

Contrary to popular belief, acid will not melt a body in minutes.
​“It is impossible that they completely destroyed a corpse with acid,”
​said study coauthor Massimo Grillo of the University of Palermo in Italy. (Science, bitches -see reference #2).

If you do not hear from me in a few days please donate to my legal fund entitled “stooopid internet search busts fitness nerd.”
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Back to my story…
...Each year like clockwork, we had to sit down to lutefisk being served on Christmas Eve.
​
The multi decade tradition ground to a halt when a few hardcore lutefisk eaters assembled on a different day at a new location to help limp the tradition on.

The reason for this story is twofold:
1) A piss-poor attempt to create pity from you as I have been suffering for science to investigate the effects of pummeling my taste buds year after year with ruthless Mike Tyson like persistency in the hopes I acquire a newfound likeness for a foul food.

Nope, it still tastes bad.

Almost like a fish soaked in lye. Weird, I know.

2) You can change!

You are not doomed to repeat past years.

While change is not easy, it can be done. If you have not been reaching your fitness goals, time to change it up for this year.

To help you out, the Flex Diet Cert will be opening again on January 6, 2025.

Stay tuned for more details.
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Your favorite lutefisk sufferer,
Much love,

Dr Mike

References:
1) Norma Love. (2016, December 23). New in mortuary science: Dissolving bodies with lye. Retrieved from htt-p://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=4828249&page=1

2) Patrick Morgan. (2011, February 25). The Mafia Was Wrong: You Can't Quickly Dissolve a Body in Acid. Retrieved from http:/ /blogs.discovermagazine.com/discoblog/2011/02/25/the-mafia-was-wrong-you-cant-quickly-dissolve-a-body-in-acid/#.WFq0jrGZPBI)

3) Image - actually finished lutefisk in its natural habitat (aka photographic proof)

_____________________

Mike T Nelson CISSN, CSCS, MSME, PhD
Associate Professor, Carrick Institute
Owner, Extreme Human Performance, LLC
Editorial Board Member, STRONG Fitness Mag

Mike T Nelson is a Ph.D. and not a physician or registered dietitian. The contents of this email should not be taken as medical advice. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any health problem - nor is it intended to replace the advice of a physician. Always consult your physician or qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health.​​​​

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