You there, savage of the Iron Temple, gather 'round!
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I am transmitting live from the feverish depths of a Festivus where the weights clang like demented church bells and the chalk dust hangs thick as conspiracy theories at a flat earth convention.

Let me tell you about my latest descent into the madness of strength - the Thomas Inch dumbbell, that cruel mistress of cast iron weighing in at 175 pounds of pure malevolent intent.

Picture, if you will, a handle as thick as a beer can, mocking you with its size, waiting to crush dreams and egos with equal prejudice.

I've been chasing this metal demon like a man possessed, determined to conquer it!

You see, in this twisted world of strength sports, we're all chasing something that nobody else really gives a darn about.
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...And that's the beautiful absurdity of it all! I'm out here, fingers bleeding from grip work, pursuing a goal that would make most people question my sanity.
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But sanity is overrated when you're dancing with dumbbells that were designed by sadists.

Here is a throwback podcast on this manifesto for the strength-obsessed where I dove deep into the rabbit hole of performance standards, ketone esters, and the electric circus of electrolytes. It's all there, timestamped like evidence in a crime scene:

01:20 - The dark arts of supplementation
02:59 - The electric kool-aid electrolyte test
04:06 - Flex Diet certification, for those brave enough
04:50 - Why we chase impossible dreams
09:49 - Numbers that'll make your spotter weep
13:05 - Tales from the squat rack asylum
18:08 - Alternative lifts for alternative minds
20:16 - A Festivus blessing for you my iron freaky friend

​Feats of strength << Listen here

So tell me, what feats of strength did you perform in honor of Festivus?
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What iron dragons did you slay?
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What PRs did you chase through the valley of DOMS?

The clock's ticking, the chalk dust settles, and somewhere out there, that Thomas Inch dumbbell waits for me like a judge, jury, and executioner all rolled into one cruel piece of medieval fitness equipment.

Stay savage,
Much love,
Dr. Mike
PS -The Flex Diet Cert will be back again in 2026 - opening around the second week of February. Stay tuned for more details.

​Feats of strength << Listen here

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Mike T Nelson CISSN, CSCS, MSME, PhD
Associated Professor Faculty, Carrick Institute
Owner, Extreme Human Performance, LLC
Editorial Board Member, STRONG Fitness Mag

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